Happy Mother’s Day to all! 

For me, I find Mother’s Day can be a little controversial. When I was younger I used to complain that there was no daughters day, there was never any malice in it thought, Just an ongoing joke. Mother’s Day was just that, a day to celebrate our mums.

As I got into my teen years I started to think about becoming a mother myself, I wondered what I’d be like as a mum,  how many children I’d have, who would play daddy. In my head every time I split up with a boyfriend I would just picture the next as daddy instead.

Now I’m in a different older and in a different position again this year. Part of me is still angry, for not being able to have children naturally, part of me just doubts what may not happen in the future. At the moment my mind is making me feel that I should be sad because today reminds me of the day my body let me down. It took away the one thing, as I woman I am supposed to be able to do. It took away my natural changes at morherhood. At first I thought this the end of things. I would never get what I want.

Now I’m slightly more optimistic because I know I have plenty of other options. There’s not high odds with the ivf but every year something new is introduced to improve chances. So for me right now I’m just going with ‘This time next year…..’

Instead of working yourself up about how the day might make you feel, just wait and see before you wind yourself up about it. It’s really hard Knowing while everyone else is lapping up being a mum, having presents and being spoilt. Youll be reminded of the one thing you want but can’t have.

It’s okay, this is normal to feel this way. What we change is how we react or feel about it. It’s not other people’s fault that we are unfortunate, it’s just the way our stories were meant to plan out. For what ever reason that may be.

Focus on your other options and dont freet about what others have. Sometimes not all is as it seems.

  • So happy Mother’s Day to mother and the amazing non mums out there who watch parent complaint every day wishing to have just that to complain about!

Thanks for reading

T x

Until you 

She’s got herself lost

Tied up in the mess

Couldn’t see clearly

Until the light came thorough

It was in that moment

She realised

She didn’t need you.

She left him there

Where he always left her

Waiting around

Head banging the wall,

Her courage got her there

To where she should be

She was happy again

Just like you or me

Then she met the new one

She would love him too

the baggage was there

But she said it didn’t matter

Not to me or you.

Maybe she should let it go,
Forget it ever happened,

maybe she should fight

For him.

In hope that this time its right

Horse racing – Cheltenham

Hi all,
This week is ‘race week’ at our local racecourse, its a really popular event and lots of people attend the first day saw excess of over 70000 people. I wanted to do a daily update but I kind of got lost in the weeks festivities. This  is one of the main racing events in the UK. The best thing about this week is the atmosphere. All the Irish come over because its their horses that race here too, everyone is mainly happy and drunk during races. Its the peak event for all trainers and jockeys everywhere with everything leading up to Fridays main race- the gold cup.
Day 1
Today was a disappointment for myself. The ground was good to soft and it was a good dry day the weather held out all day. The horses that were meant to win didn’t  (the favourites), but that’s the joy of racing .For my it was a bad day as I only came out £20 up but at least there weren’t as many injuries.
My top picks of the day
Un temps pour tout -9/1- Came 1st – this has been popular before so I thought I would back him again.
Altior – 1/4 –  Came 1st – this was the only favourite that came 1st today, others that came first weren’t the most favoured.
Apples Jade -7/2- Came 1st – new horse to me haven’t heard of this one before but I will be backing again in future.
Melon -3/1- Placed 2nd – fave horse and the fave jockey, sadly it wasn’t ruby Walsh’s day today, still a good result though – unless you didn’t go each way.
Day 2
Today was a beautiful day the sun was shinning and the weather was great. Sadly it wasn’t a day for the faves again. Some placed and did ok but only 1 favourite out of 7 races came in. This is really does show that its anyone’s game. Two years ago I remember there being 3 jockeys that dominated the festival, this time around is great to see some old jockeys and new making there headway at Cheltenham.
My top picks of the day
Neon Wolf – 2/1 – Placed 2nd – right up until the end, neon was looking very strong, however on the last hurdle he did falter, he recovered so well and came second on a photo finish.
Whisper – 9/2 – Placed 2nd – This horse has a popular trainer and I hadn’t heard of the favourite on this race before. although  the fave did win it was again a very close 2nd for whisper.
Special Tiara – 20/1 – Came 1st – this was a turn for the books I picked this based on my sister in law, her names Tara and she picks this every year and every year he’s come in the to  3. was extremely pleased with this win but cold kick myself for not putting more on.
Day 3
I cant yet give my summary of today, however the weather isn’t looking good its very overcast. However different horses like different ground and conditions so we shall see what happens from there.
My top picks of the day –
Flying angel – 16/1 – I like the jockey for this horse and the name seems significant to me.
unowhatimeanharry – 11/8 – the fave for the day, although this horse is looking strong if the last two days are anything to go by there may be not be as good a chance as it seems
Doctor Harper – 11/1 – this is my horse for the last race of the day, I think hes done well in previous years so I thought why not.
isleofhopendreams – 12/1 – again a well favoured jockey and so far this week he hasn’t had much luck.
I will update my selections later and see who comes in today- to all fellow horse racing lovers out there … Good Luck
Thanks for reading
T x


Hair braids 

Hi all!

Today I tried to braid hair for the first time, I must admit it doesn’t actually look too bad from a distance. However given that I didn’t actually have a choice no to heomention me separate nor did we intend to do the whole head.

I believe I do my French plaits backwards, I’m not sure how or why, when I did it smaller it did actually work better than expected. I thought it would be fiddly but it’s not, as long as they sit still !

I used some plastics bands to tie the plaits. She was very pleased that they were all pink.She looked at them from different angles before declaring she loved it!

This is far from professional and took me longer than no 15mins in total. But it does I’ll be great when it’s not and to keep her hair out of her face when it’s hot!

This is just another casual Sunday that really does make my week!

T x

Streets of darkness

Hi all,

I wanted to share with you my latest read. At our local Tesco they have been doing a book deal with the newspaper. If you buy the sun you get a book for just £2! I much prefer an actual Book to a kindle alternative, this is a great way to grow my collection.

‘The sky over Bradford is heavy with foreboding. It always is. But this morning it has reason to be – this morning a body has been found. And it’s not just any body.

Detective Harry Virdee should be at home with his wife. Impending fatherhood should be all he can think about but he’s been suspended from work just as the biggest case of the year lands on what would have been his desk. He can’t keep himself away.
Determined to restore his reputation, Harry is obliged to take to the shadows in search of notorious ex-convict and prime suspect, Lucas Dwight. But as the motivations of the murder threaten to tip an already unstable city into riotous anarchy, Harry finds his preconceptions turned on their head as he discovers what it’s like to be on the other side of the law…’
Firstly I really enjoyed this book in the end and can’t wait for the second book to arrive. Harry Virdee is a detective inspector who has recently been suspended from work. Harry was suspended as he assaulted another man, Pradeep. Pradeep doesn’t agree with Harry’s choices to marry a Muslim lady, Saima.

Harry and Saima are very happy together even if it is jut the two of them. They have both been disowned by there families for wanting to be together, but there love for each other was always stronger. Now married and expecting their first baby together, things should be good for them. However Harry’s potential job loss weighs on them both.

Harry is given the opportunity to save his job by finding the EX- leader of the BNP, Lucas Dwight- who has just been released from prison. Lucas is the suspect for the city’s most recent murder. However when Harry starts to believe that Lucas didn’t actually commit the crime, the pair work together to try and solve the case and regain Lucas’s freedom.

Harry and Lucas have to work through many issues to help get to the bottom of the case. Things take a turn for the worst after Harry’s wife, Saima, disappears from their home. With Saima due to go into labour any minute, a Harry does everything he can to ensure he can find her safely. However sometimes you have to cross the wrong side of the law to get things like this done.

Just how far will Harry go?

Will Saima have her baby?

Did Lucas really kill anyone?

There are so many questions you may have for this book, without ruining the end, things just aren’t always as they seem. And it’s a very small world in the end.

If you like fast paced, gripping books then this is definitely one for you! It also explores the divide between religions that I myself didn’t really understand st the beginning.

Hope you enjoyed this review. I recommend this to anyone.

Thanks for reading

T x

I feel flooded 

I feel flooded Like its too much for me right now . I would love to do that, to have that store that opportunity but now? Right now I want to have a baby and complete my family. It’s just the missing part of our puzzle, I would love that chance but the actual how to run it scares me, I don’t know how to pay people, what things I need to start, I just know how to make it look good and know what to sell the ideas, but actually materialising it. I’m not actually sure I can do that. What if I get it wrong, who do I turn to if I get stuck, who will bail me out. It’s nice in a dream to see what it’s like but in reality it scared the hell out of me. Why now? Now that I’m settled again, to a point, I can handle things for now. But I want to stay strong for my family I could have, im scared I can’t do the two, we have our house our home and I don’t want to leave it. I just don’t know what to do….

4 weeks today! 

Hi all

It has been 4 weeks today since I have become a non- smoker.

I was truely sceptical about whether hypnotherapy would work . I can now confirm that it really does work! I didn’t think I was strong enough to give up myself, yet I knew I needed to because of the up coming ivf! And that’s a better reason than any for me.

Having hypnotherapy really worked, I remember the things sarah (the hypnotherapist) worked on my future plans for a baby, she taught me I was preparing my body for my baby. I can still vauguely remember the things she said but I know they are still in my subconscious.

For anyone looking to give up smoking I would recommend this if you feel you can’t do it yourself. Looking back now I know I probably could have given up after our initial chat consultation. After one session I am now proud to say it has been 4 weeks since I have become a non- smoker again! And I couldn’t feel better!

Thanks for reading

T x

Mini egg cheesecake to beginners 

Hi all,

I must admit I’m not known for my culinary skills, but this is my first cheese cake and it was seriously easy to make!!

What you’ll need 

-300g Milk chocolate digestives
-125 g of Butter – Melted
-750g of cream cheese such as Philadelphia.normal supermarket brands do still work.
-100g of icing sugar.
-2 teaspoons of vanilla extract (vanilla bean extract does give a bit more flavour)
-300ml of extra thick or double cream.
– 2 bags of chopped mini eggs.

1) I put the biscuits into a food bag and then crushed them with a rolling pin. Try to separate them as much as you can for a better base.

2) Melt the butter until runny, then pour over the biscuits. Mix them until they start to stick together.(I used a foil dish as above ,just because it was easier.) When all of the biscuits are covered put them into a dish or bowl that you plan on using to chill the cheesecake after.

3) When your base is flattened into the tin pop it into the fridge to chill.

4) To prepare your cheesecake filling, simply mix all of the above together, I started with the cream cheese and icing sugar first. I did use a mixer for this then added the mini eggs (this can make your mixer sound like it’s going to break due to the noise).

5) I then added the extra cream but mixed this in by hand. When the mixture is thick and starting to hold, remove base from the fridge and cover with the mixture.

4) I simply sprinkled hot chocolate on the top for a quick dusty chocolate look, then used mini eggs to decorate.

This is a recipe I found on another site but ammended. I made this with my step daughter on Thursday and it’s become a bit of a routine to cook or do arts and crafts every Thursday!

So for anyone who hasn’t made a cheese cake before or wants an easy recipe to do with children…this is the one for you!!

If you do have any questions do feel free to ask!

Thanks for reading
T x