Post holiday 

Today we came back from our summer holiday. As it was my step daughters birthday we all took the week off and went down to South Wales. We stayed at a haven park and it was brilliant. We all had such a good week and traditional family holiday. 

We did activities such as water walking, aqua gets, turbo paddlers, natural bracelets and lots of pool activity on our giant inflatable watermelon. 

For my partner and 1 this was our last family holiday with his daughter before we try the ivf. We have been open and honest with lily and about the process we have to go through. Right or wrong I try not to shelter her from so much. 

She sees the news and knows what’s going on in the world. Whick makes me think that  it may prepare her for the world we are growing up in. If she knows about these things now she can choose what she believes is right or wrong. 
Anyway back to holiday! We stayed in a safari tent! This is a semi permanent tent with a double bed, single bed and a bunk bed. There was plenty of space. Semi permanent kitchen so there was water and electric. It did get to me though when on the second day, my step daughter complained there was no wifi so she couldn’t do much on her phone. 

You may think it wrong that she has a phone at 8. However one evening I went to work and her dad had fainted and was really unwell and she needed to call. 

Anyway the safari ent was amazing we all loved every minute of our holiday. I’m going to update more when I wake up. Then I will be refreshed enough to make sure what I’ve wrote make sense now. 

Today

hi all
sorry its been a while, things have been slightly hectic lately. Works been unreal its been so hard to switch off and ever get anything done. I’m on holiday this week though so its time for some real quality time, living in the moment.
this is something ive promised to do more . I really want to practice in mindfulness. My colleague taught me how to self hypnosis the other day and I was genuinely in awe. he is a very wise man, its been sad to loose him from my team this week.
I really have let myself down by not sticking to my blogging .i was able to give up smoking for 4 months and I have stuck to my diet for the past two. Only a stone so far but its got to be a start.
This week has been a week of different lessons. I learnt I need to control my self and my mind more and not fear losing control because I seem more than likely to do it.
I learnt the more open with my step daughter and just let me be and if she wants to just chill and have a cuddle then that’s what we will do. its not that we don’t, its just she’s not mine, but it doesn’t mean I cant treat her as if she was. I know I already do, yet sometimes with step children it can be really difficult. I know I was a difficult step child and I don’t want us to have the same relationship.
I know this is only a random little post but its one of then nights I cant seem to switch off and I want to reflect on things. Its one of them weeks where I have seen our country come together and unite again. this is what keeps me believing and gives me faith that together we can stop this hate. my thoughts are truly with the victims of the Grenfell towers this week.
Every Action has an opposite and equal reaction.
T x