When Endometriosis strikes back 

Hi all
So I’m not sure if I’ve said before but along with the infertility, I also have a condition called endometriosis or ‘endo’. This is a common hidden disease , it effects 1 in 10 women especially around their cycle time.
There is no cure for this disease, which means the same old thing will continue to happen. It can be eased by medication but nothing ever really make it go away, even after a hysterectomy there have been occasions of the build up still.
Mine was a long diagnosis and effected me in a few different ways. None of which made any sense to me. I just lived with these things even though it was a struggle I never though there would be a reason.
– Anger/Emotion – for reasons I can’t explain I used to get extremely angry if things weren’t right, I just seemed to have a really really low tolerance of things in the week before my cycle. anger was the one that got to me the most, when I threw a knife at my other half in an argument it was a good hint that something wasn’t right. I literally just felt possessed.
– Back pain – This was an absolute bugger! The pain was just always there like a dull low ache, nothing let me forget it was there completely. Before my cycle my whole back, mainly the lower, would spasm and feel really tight and restrained. It was a feeling that no matter how much I stretch and take pain relieve I know if I lie on the floor. I’m not getting back up any time soon.
– Moods – I was just unable to deliver anything consistently, one week I was up then the next I would be down. Again . these got worse prior to cycle. even when I knew it was coming I still, in that frame of mind, genuinely believed that it wasn’t me it was everyone else doing things wrong.
– Fatigue – constantly change in sleeping pattern, constantly going to sleep early or needing to nap more before my cycle. I noticed this more recently when my meds stopped.
I think because these symptoms seems to bizarre it can really be very hard to spot. For years and years my doctors treated me for different things.
-I was treated for depression and anxiety because of the way I was feeling, no one clicked on that this was linked into the timing of my cycle.
-I was treated by physiotherapy  for my Back pain- and a good old repeat prescription for ‘wehavenoideawhatswrong’ to help me through
-There was also the unexplained infertility. for this I was only taken seriously after I lost my 5th baby. My ectopic. For me I wanted to share this because if anyone out there is feeling there strange things and cant explain it… I get it.
My colleague at work was telling me all about the symptoms a few months back and they did seem similar, Jane was 48 though so at a different stage in her life. Everything she described just sounded so familiar, I remember explaining to Jane that if you has told me years ago I have this imbalance because of my hormone levels and such I may have thought you were crazy too.
Especially when I found one of the key things to help me was a contradictions, it just felt so strange. But I began taking the contraceptive pill despite never being able to conceive naturally. This just felt weird having always wanted children, the last thing I ever wanted to take was something to stop that. However given that naturally a cant conceive anyway it wasn’t an issue.
Never did I think the tablets would completely help balance my hormones, control the pain and make my cycle lighter when I did take my break. The trick was to take them back to back for 3 months to give myself and break.
Anyway the reason my endo has come back with vengeance is because for me to have my first pre ivf scan I have to go on the first day of my cycle. When I was taking the pill this was just when ever I decided to stop. However this wont give an accurate scan, as it will be however the pill decides to make my lining not how it naturally is. So I had to stop the pill to do this.
My point is I didn’t think I would slip back that easily yet I did. It can easily happen. So I’m now trying to use my mindfulness to help me through.
Just wanted to share this in case you think hang on that sounds like me. I saw Jane in town the other day and her first words to me where ‘ You know I was always having them problems? Well I have something called Endometriosis’ … Who could of predicted that.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you have been effected by this invisible pain monster please feel free to share.
T x




Good Crafty Friday 

Hi All

Happy Good Friday Everyone! Today We was up bright and early. I woke around 7. I got up and ready, then I Made my other half and his friend an omelete before work. Lily arose shortly after, She came down in her new outfit that she got the previous evening and said ‘I’m ready for our day of arts and crafts”. As cute as that was seeing her all dressed up and raring to go, sleep still in the corner of her eyes, there was no way I was going to let her paint in brand new clothes! Arts and craft lasted for about 1 hour and 30, she got a little restless after this though!!

1- Easter Finger Print Cards

We saw these on Pinterest before and thought why not? How cute and easy are these! All you need is yellow paint and a couple of sharpies – 1 orange and 1 black. I must admit I didn’t have orange sharpie so used paint and a not so thin brush for the beaks. I also used an old eyeliner for the feet and eyes too.

2- Painted glitter Pom Pom Easter rabbit sign!

I do love hobby craft! They have some really cool things to paint yourself. We decide to add bright colours and a googly eye to add a bit extra to our funny bunny! This will be perfect for our porch when nanny comes for dinner on Sunday!

3- Random Paint blowing! This was just a bit of fun. We decided to put blobs of paint onto a piece of card and then blow them with a straw. When the coloured started to connect we decided to make two small cards and use this as our background.

None of these bits take much effort. For me the most effort was when The paint water jar was spilt all over the table! These are just a few simple easy home crafts that are great for Easter.

After this we watched Inside out which I had never seen before. It was such a good film I really enjoyed it. I did try to hold back the tears at the end! Please note this may it have the same effect on you Im just having an emotional thinking week. Doing the arts and craft and watching the film with my step daughter really did keep my mind busy. I do believe that by doing things in the present it does help us to live more in the now.

When the film finished I then made some pepper,bacon and onion egg muffins. These are so simple and a great syn treat for my current slimming world diet phase.

We then cooked chicken fajitas with lots of peppers onions and veggies. I decided to do this with cous cous because again that just adds to be being syn free!

All in all a very very busy day. I must say this evening after my nap, I felt really content! Keeping occupied is a great help sometimes and we really enjoyed our day together again.

Thanks for reading

T x

I’m sorry it’s been a while! 

Hi all

I haven’t wrote in a while, and now I’m feeling guilty, I should have let myself have that time each day to express how I feel. I think if I don’t then it can sometimes life just takes over! However I don’t want to loose myself in myself. Tomrrow is a new day and my aunt is over from Hong Kong so I’m sure there will be plenty to write about after that visit. I will start trying more to keep my blog alive. I love reading other people but sometimes can’t find the words for my own. If only the inside of my head always a dictaphone! Although I’m sure some of it needs to stay there. Anyway. I’m off for now until tomrrow

Thanks for reading