I was just about to rant because my angers so built up, but just as I was about to send I decided to stop. Not because I didn’t want to rant because I really do and there is somethings that frustrate me so much because I don’t understand why things happen. I wonder what makes people to decide to make the decisions they do.
Be this a simple do I wear this do I not? Do I eat that or not? What ever that decision it maybe, there are always these questions where ever we go. I just wonder sometimes if people ever stop and think ‘ how would this make them feel’ or ‘I wonder why not everyone is involved’. More so the first one the second is more my current situation.
Today it was my granddads birthday so we all went to my aunt’s house and had a Christmas dinner, which was really, really good. My brother was late to the meal as he had been out in London the night before. Normally I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at this but he had been up there with my dad, step mum and step sister. The other side of the family. Basically the whole family not me.
They said they went halves on tickets for a meal at a posh restaurant. My issue is that when they decided to show what a fantastic family they all were all over social media, did they think of me being at home seeing it and thinking ‘why aren’t I involved. ‘or ‘Why wasn’t I offered to do something like this.’ I even had the weekend off.
However although that was my initial thought, when I actually thought about it, I have always felt some what a second class citizen. I’m not as la-de-da as them because I know where I came from and who I am. That side of my family are the ‘posh’ side, not that its all been earn entirely honestly but hey I know that so you cant tell me I don’t try enough. At least I’m honest with what Ive got, and I achieved it myself.
So the choice is… I can let myself get ate up by not being included
accept that I’m just not like them anyway.
Would I rather be myself, true to my values and have earned the little I do have. Or not know what it to have a family who truly look up to you and can share anything with you. Unfortunately my other half of the family or more money orientated. The rest of us on the second side are much more happy and content. We can tell each other what we want and most importantly not be judged for what we have or who we are.
I MAY JUST BE ME BUT IM HAPPY
ps. Family portraits by pink used to be a great song for a shitty family