It’s the little things.

Today I had an okay day at work but it was the last in a long long week, but today I came home from work to a nice brunch made by my other half and step daughter. I’ve never seen him so pleased with himself which was honestly such a nice time. 

Egg and bacon ūü•ď muffins 

T x 

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The Accident by C L.Taylor

KEEPING THIS SECRET WAS KILLING HER…

A gripping psychological thriller about the deadly secrets your children can keep …

Sue Jackson has the perfect family but when her teenage daughter Charlotte deliberately steps in front of a bus and ends up in a coma she is forced to face a very dark reality.

Retracing her daughter’s steps she finds a horrifying entry in Charlotte’s diary and is forced to head deep into Charlotte’s private world. In her hunt for evidence, Sue begins to mistrust everyone close to her daughter and she’s forced to look further, into the depths of her own past.

Sue will do anything to protect her daughter. But what if she is the reason that Charlotte is in danger?

Another Great book full of mystery and crime. I highly recommend this to any lover of these genres of book. Although this was the authors first book, I actually ended up reading it last. For no reason other than I was given the Lie by a friend and decided to go with that one first and had no idea of the order. Luckily they didn’t link but all three of C.L.Taylors books are brill.
Sue Jackson is quite the character through the book as she makes it her mission to find out what happened to her daughter, this is another book where it shows you both past and present so we can start guessing and putting the pies together, and I was not disappointed. From almost the start I had a few suspicions of what happened to Charlotte but every revelation can an opposite reaction. Just as you think well Oli (for example) is acting strange or another character, you’re quickly shown how it also couldn’t possibly be that person.
The story shows a different side of abuse. It shows how when Sue is when she’s younger and na√Įve.¬†They start¬†just generally happy in there ¬†new relationship together¬†until things start to slowly but surely take a turn for the worst. Suddenly by being honest with James and telling him about her past¬†it all backfires and comes back to haunt her in due cause.¬†What starts off as loves young dream, soon becomes a dark and¬†desperate escape.
Sue thinks she’s left¬†her¬†painful past behind her but low and behold it may all just be about to catch up with her again. For me this story shows a mothers determination in sensing when something isn’t right with her child. She could have simply¬†put it all down to an accident but a mothers instinct is rarely wrong.¬†I highly recommend any of the CL.Taylor to anyone who loves a good mystery. At the back of all her books there are book club questions which I think is a really great idea. I may even answer some on here this evening.
Thanks for reading guys
T x

My Smoking Hypnotherapy Journey..

Good Afternoon My Beautiful Bloggers!

I started to say yesterday¬†about stopping smoking¬†but unfortunately couldn’t expand much and share as much as I wanted to, so I’m catching up now instead. I had been smoking for 14years and I needed to give up for one main reason¬†. IVF. I mean sure there are other reasons as well –¬† less breathless, better health , less smelly, better fitness, less cost, better concentration – The list is endless.

Unfortunately,¬†I¬†didn’t see these reasons as¬†anything at the time. Smoking has never really concerned me as such, I had the attitude sure smoking could kill me but I could step in front of a bus tomorrow … Would it be the Bus or the Smoking that killed me?? – Silly I know in the grander scheme of things.¬† I know now that I just didn’t want give up something I thought I was in control of.

Smoking gave me that 5 minutes outside at work when everyone else is having a bad day I could just go out side breathe and start again. Smoking was something that even if my parents didn’t¬†want me to do it, they couldn’t ever actually stop me once I was¬†old enough.¬†Smoking was my choice it was something that I did when I wanted. But as time went on the habit just stuck, it didn’t go away and it became a bad part of me.

I was in such a¬†routine it became just an everyday necessity, every hour or so…fag, somebody upset at work and they smoke…Fag. It just happened. So I went to see a hypnotherapist who helped and guided me through. Its really¬†difficult to explain what¬†happened in some ways because I’m not sure. But I can say. I am now a non smoker because I just don’t smoke anymore.

I had emailed Sarah several times over December and I kept almost chickening out. Then finally we agreed on 2nd February. We had a conversation on the phone to discuss why I wanted to give up, Did I have something to gain from giving up and many other questions around this, other questions were also just around me and what I do on a daily basis. Sarah said that it was a great motivation to want to give up for the IVF because I have something to gain from not smoking, a Baby. She also said that previously, a few people who has struggled, as they felt they were giving up this habit and getting nothing in return, so they feel a sense of loss. Which I can totally see now, as well as the fact that smoking is not actually addictive РThe nicotine companies are literally just having a laugh at us.

I did take in everything that Sarah told me and although it made sense what was being said I also thought surely this cant just change things, just like that?! So we moved on to the actual hypnotherapy. I lead down on¬†the sofa chair in the beautiful, calming office surroundings. The problem was the light and my already existing headache! So I tried to ignore it and pretend there was nothing there and tried my best to relax, I think to some extent I could but I couldn’t fully switch off. I was so scared that it wasn’t going to work because I wasn’t relaxed, we did turn the light off after though and then I felt I could genuinely start to relax more.

It must have done its job somewhere along the line though, because so far so good. I just don’t smoke anymore. I found coming round from the therapy really easy, Sarah said a lot of people have a lot of different experiences, some feel like they’re floating others feel like there sinking, yet I just lead there normally just a bit relaxed and yet it seems to work. I believe hypnotherapy has genuinely helped me.

In some senses I really don’t want to smoke at all, but sometimes I do think about it still. Again though its the same thing I guess, if I don’t think about it, its not there. I still struggle and especially first thing in the morning but its not been long so I’m still really pleased with the results. I can’t quite get my head around the fact for 14 years I’ve done something every hour of the day for this long and now, I just don’t need it. I just don’t smoke anymore. This did come at a price but I think so far for me I think its been worth it. ¬£175.

Thanks for reading

T x