Hi all 

I just wanted to share my counselling story with you. After I had my ectopic pregnancy in November 2015, it took me a long time to get back up. All I ever wanted was a baby, someone to love me no matter what, someone who needed me and someone I could make proud. My ectopic ended that for me and left me also infertile. (At this point I still had my other Fallopian tube, which I don’t now) Anyway I really struggled to pick myself back up, I fell into a really dark place in my life. A friend at work had told me about Footsteps counselling and care. She said her friend had been through something similar and it had really helped her. 

I didn’t know what to expect because my last experience of counselling wasn’t great. Id last went to counselling for domestic abuse and being ‘assertive’ in those times only made it worse. It just seemed to press his buttons more! 

Footsteps helped me more than I could ever imagine, I went for around 12weeks before I finally felt better. The counsellors at footsteps have all been through something similar to mine. Footsteps is for anyone who has suffered pregnancy, child related loss and infertility.

When I first went, I walked into the shop unsure what to expect. From the outside it’s just like any other charity shop, but out the back where the counselling takes place, it’s quite and peaceful. They have a few private rooms that just have chairs in and no obstacles, no barrier between you and your counsellor. I didn’t realise on my first visit; but they also had a side entrance so that if I was having a bad day I could just go throhhh the back, no questions asked. 

I saw my counsellor, Rachel, for 12 weeks. After my first session I got my tattoo done above. I loved the design and it was just what I was looking for. For me it was letting go but holding on by having the tattoo there when I needed comfort. I didn’t show Rachel this until the last session and she was very touched. Just after my tattoo footsteps changed there logo, I didn’t mind though as it made mine more unique and it updated there look in general as well. 

Rachel helped me through a time I thought I couldn’t get through, she sat and listened to me just chipping in when she thought it was nessessary. She taught me that the grief never goes we just grow around it. Every time I walked out of the room I just felt amazing, like a huge weight I had been carrying around was just gone straight away. 

I began to look forward to my trip over to Gloucester to see Rachel. Over the 12 weeks I went from not thinking counselling worked, to never missing a session. I then recommended a lot more people and donate regularly to. 

My words of advise for anyone who is contemplating counselling….DO IT. It may just save you for me it brought back a side of me I hadn’t seen in years. We went through things from my past as well not just the pregnancy related. 

One day I hope that I may be able to be a counsellor or somehow share my learnings with others either around domestic violence ot pregnancy related loss. 

My words of advice if you have a similar situation to mine is – you always have other options to make your family complete. 
Your only lost until you find yourself 

Thanks for reading 

T x


8 thoughts on “Footsteps 

  1. iamlindseybernice says:

    Hello darling!

    I am so glad to have come across your post. In Dec 2016 I found out I was pregnant and last week Jan 25th I found out it was Ectopic after two months of a couple ER visits, bed rest, and lots of bleeding.

    At first when I found out I was grateful it was caught early and all I have needed so far is a shot and I might need another one and if that doesn’t work could need surgery and all that.

    Anyway.. in the last few days I have slowly been getting more depressed and sad and mad and all sorts of feelings! It is great to read from another and that all will be okay in time! Thank you for your story!

    Liked by 1 person

    • wallsoftor says:

      Your most welcome, I’m so sorry for your loss, I know your going to be in a dark and strange place right now but it will get easier. If you ever want to talk I’m always here 🙂 sometimes we get strength we didn’t even know we had in situations like these. It may take time but it will come x

      Liked by 1 person

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